Have you ever felt that deflated feeling of rejection? I’m sure you have, unless you live in a bubble. Like being bitten (not by mosquito, thats just annoying) and it stings so much but nothing can soothe the pain. That sensation of wanting something to be over, you kind of just hope it’s a dream, but the dream feels never ending?
When you realise you can’t make people love you or even vaguely want you? When people reject you, your values, your convictions and basically you as a human being? When people simply don’t offer you the job you are convinced you’re born to do or they just don’t want to be friends with you anymore? Whatever form rejection takes, it can cause mayhem to our self-worth.
I’m not sure which hottest country you’ve been to; I remember once in Perth at the height of the Australian summer with temperatures soaring to 40 degC. When I stepped out of the air conditioned room, I was hit by this colossal staunch block of hot air, which sent me into a momentary dizziness. Even though I was expecting it, it still surprised me and I had to pause for a while to regain by balance. It’s kind of how rejection can knock you off your feet sometimes, expected or unexpected.
Rejection is frustrating, disheartening, confusing and brings so much anguish and unanswered questions. You begin to question your very core, your self worth, validity, adequacy and values. You know who you are (or at least you thought you did), but this person who has just rejected you has in simple terms labelled you “not good enough”. You’re fundamentally not worth their time and the truth is; it hurts, it really stings real bad especially if it’s someone who have some form of respect for .
But who decides my self worth? If someone thinks I’m the best thing since sliced bread and someone else thinks I’m dirt on their heel, who is right? Who has the credentials to make that call? We’re all human, one day we hate olives and next day we think they’re the best thing to ever happen to a salad. We change, our views and opinions evolve depending on the environment or when we learn new things we didn’t know yesterday. So if someone thought you were valuable yesterday and today they don’t, but you’re still the same person, what has changed? Rejection seems to be in the eye of the beholder to me.
You’re still as awesome as you were, they have changed their perspective. But we all know who is constant, immovable. God is steadfast, never changing and he should have the final word on your self worth, because he did after all make you! Let him be your anchor, let him speak truth into your life, because he will not change his opinion on you based on the latest social trend. Trends will come and go but the word of God will never pass away. He is our standard, not the media or latest group of friends. We really should stop promoting the media and giving it so much power and reverence that belongs to God only.
A rejection story I find gut-wrenching in the bible is that of Hagar. She had no control of the situation at all when Sara made her have Abraham’s baby. After all the sacrifice, Sara still rejected her and cast her out (might I add Abraham was not innocent in this whole debacle either). Her rejection was double edged, both emotional and physical. As Hagar cried out in the desert hurt, abandoned, thirsty and hungry , God came to her rescue. It was at this point Hagar encountered Lord El Roi, the God who sees. Although she had been rejected and scorned by people, God saw her, rescued and spoke promises of life into her life and the life of her son. To me there is a certain beauty and comfort to that. That in the midst of the tears, agony and misery, God is right there, he can see you, the bible says in Psalm 34;18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Remember too that as man in the form of Jesus, he experienced as much rejection and pain; “He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem” Isaiah 53:3.
In the midst of our rejection, when we’re coiling up in pain, that is the time to press further into God. If anything, what do you have to lose? It already hurts. God knows your thoughts, all your ways, before you utter a single word he already knows it. You cannot hide from his Spirit, because guess what he made you. Before you were a thought in your parents minds he had already fashioned you, with all your quirks, “shortcomings”, gifts, ideas and desires. Guess what; when he had fearfully and wonderfully made you, he was pleased with his creation. He does not just stop there, he has plans and thoughts for you that go beyond what you can even dare to imagine. After reading Psalms 139, how intricate, meticulous, precise and intimate my God is, I refuse to allow someone to make me believe that God did all that for nothing. As his hands moulded me like a expert potter, he had a purpose in mind, he knew what shape I had to be to fulfil my destiny and he mad me enough. He gave me a purpose and worth in that process that none has the power to take away from me.
Do not let someone’s distorted view of you stop you from fulfilling that purpose. Someone once said man’s rejection can be God’s redirection. You’re probably holding on to some people because you think that’s the best you deserve, but if you just let go, watch God redirect you, bring new people into your life, you’ll be amazed by where God wants to take you. I get this beautiful feeling that one day you’ll use the words “ I dodged a bullet!”.
I know it hurts right now, but get up defiantly, let go and press into your destiny. Do not reject people before they reject you, because you assume they will reject you. Give them chance, don’t make people pay for mistakes done by other people. Watch God do a new thing in you and make a pathway in the wilderness. Hold yourself to the value that God has put in you. God has made you creative, brilliant, imaginative, intelligent, beautiful and above all enough just the way you are, so believe it and live it. I fear that if you don’t see yourself the way God sees you, you will believe all those lies of those who reject you. Let God’s voice upon your life drown out all the other voices that make you question your self worth through their rejection.
Do not let the rejection of the past make you hide away from the world. You were made to be an active participant in this world, not just an observer. If you can have the word of God as a shield that bounces off all that negativity and approach people with the knowledge that whatever happens you are loved by the most High, nothing anyone can do or say can ever change that fact, you’ll find there’s nothing to lose by opening up. Do not reject yourself by failing to see how valuable you are to this world, to the people waiting to be impacted by you. Do not reject yourself to the point where you deny what a blessing you can be in other people’s lives. Accept yourself as you are, you fearfully and wonderfully made being. The world is waiting for you!