He is in the Waiting – Take Courage

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I am impatient, for as long as I can remember I have always been in a rush. I love lists, making the, crossing them off, and there is no greater satisfaction to me than ticking off something on one of my lists, and ticking them off hastily. I make lists for almost everything, goals, fitness, food , workload and you might have guessed I love those listography journals; I have plenty of them in various forms. The whole routine makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something , as if life is not been wasted, its all chronicled and days are not being wasted. 

 

But what happens when there is that one thing on your list, its been there for a while and you just can’t cross it off. If it was up to you it would have been crossed out already. But now its been there for years, staring at you, mocking you. Year after year, the paper with the list gets older, mustier until perhaps it goes missing. Perhaps it disseminates  slowly until there is none of it late. Perhaps you have moved on to a forth journal from the one with that list. 

 

 

How do you get the courage to go on believing that that thing on your list will finally  come to fruition. As time goes on it becomes even more unlikely, the odds get even slimmer. You start to believe why would it happen now when it hasn’t happened yet. My instinct is to give up, hang my boots, pack up and leave. At various moments in my life I’m crippled with so much fear and anxiety about the future I conclude that I’m ready to move on, I’m ready to re-write my dreams, my story, redefine my desires and refocus my goals. I’m convinced I can be happy if I learn to live without that thing on my list. I’m resolved to make it because I have to. I’m convinced God does not owe me anything   and it is not my birth right to get that thing crossed off my list. I recently heard this song (from Bethel) during worship at church that has had me thinking;

 

“Take Courage”
 
Slow down, take time
Breath in He said
He’d reveal what’s to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He’ll reveal all to come
 
Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing
 
Sing praise my soul
Find strength in joy
Let His Words lead you on
Do not forget
His great faithfulness
He’ll finish all He’s begun
 
So take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing
 
 
And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory
And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory!
 
So take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
Watch your triumph unfold
He’s never failing
He’s never failing
 
He’s in the waiting…

 

I was awash with these words and as I absorbed the words, I felt the beautiful simple truth; God is faithful, he’s never failing and his thoughts are higher than mine. I can only see as far as my belief, my dreams are limited by how abundant I think God is. At this moment I feel, yes “feel” God has forgotten that part of my dreams. But as beautifully as God works, I come across James 1 vs 6-8;

 

 “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord, he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

 

This rattled me a little, in fact it slightly offended me (best way to know if God is convicting you of something, is getting offended:P). So in my waiting and choosing to close the door because nothing is coming through, I’m just like that wave. God wants perseverance to finish its work in me, so I can be mature and complete. He is in the waiting , the perseverance, the growing, the maturing, the pain and the cocoon stage. Lamentations 3 vs 32;

 

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.
 
 
 
It turns out God wants the best for me, he’s not out to get me. We’re on the same side and him keeping me waiting is not him punishing me. I’m in the cocoon, I’m growing, I’m being transformed. I’m developing the vital characteristics I will need to maintain and keep the blessing that God has upon my life. He knows I’m not ready. I think I’m ready, in fact I have been ready for a long time in my mind. I’m beginning to think there is something I’m missing, like the Israelites I’m failing to learn one lesson and I’m going round the the mountain over and over again and to be honest I’m getting dizzy. I’m thinking its not anymore complicated than full and utter surrender to God, to get to the point when God is truly enough.
 
To desire the heart of God above all, when I reach the end of myself, when God is my beginning and my end. When I stop striving to do things by my own strength and learn to live in the unforced rhythms of grace, live in the unprecedented peace of God. When that one thing on my list is less than a candle compared to the sun, the glory of God. Even that analogy does not do God any justice, but perhaps will give you an idea. When my focus is on God alone, because I know from him is my provision, he is Jehovah Jireh.
 
 
So for now I will slow down, take time and breath. I will go against my natural instinct and wait for him to reveal it all in due time. In the meantime I will take courage because he keeps count of the hairs on my head, he upholds me in his right hand, he loves me that much. Such love I cannot comprehend, but I am grateful, because I know my future is safe. I will hold hold steadfast to the promises God has scattered throughout scripture .
 
 
God always provides in His way, in His time and from his own source.

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